TWITTERVERSE V. NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, et al.
UNITED STATES DIS-TWEET COURT
SOUTHERN DIS-TWEET OF FLORIDA
ALICEJAM PISSED OFF DIVISION
CASE NO. TO BE ASSIGNED
TWITTERVERSE, an international movement and
TWITTERERS, individually State-side
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE
A/k/a NO FUN LEAGUE, NOT FOR
LONG, NOT FULLY LAUNCHED
As personal representative of the 32
FOOTBALL TEAMS and ESPN,
enabler, co-signer and co-conspirator
of the NFL and its aliases
COMPLAINT FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF ALLOWING TWITTER TO BE ALLOWED FREELY BY THE NFL AND ESPN
Plaintiffs, by and through their undersigned tweet-counsel, for the purpose of this instant action, allege upon personal knowledge that the above-mentioned Defendants (namely NFL and ESPN) (hereinafter referred to as the “3-letter and 4-letter words) have caused and/or instructed employees, pro-athletes and other team personnel to refrain from using twitter to report on the daily activities of their lives. Plaintiffs believe and allege that they have substantial evidence in support of these allegations, which will be set forth herein.
Plaintiffs bring this action as a class action lawsuit, pursuant to the federal guidelines and applicable laws in this court, for purposes of jurisdiction and venue. Beginning in June of 2009, when the “3-letter and its co-conspirator 4-letter word became very intrigued by the activities and daily tweets of its employees (hereinafter “NFL ballers” and “ESPN shot callers.”)
The commish for the defendant 3-letter word and his handlers issues a statement aka the “wrath of god” to all its players, advising them against their intentions to tweet during games. As a side note, for this honorable court to consider, no such refrain was offered when a certain ball club decided to tape the play calling of another ball club. Insofar as no one from the “No Fun League” issued a ban on the use of video cameras. Hmmm.
The 4-letter word defendant recently, and only after the 3-letter word defendant issued a ban of twitter (asking all 32 teams to co-sign), told their employees that they could not tweet anything else other than news post about ESPN.
JURISDICTION AND VENUE
This court has subject matter jurisdiction over this action again pursuant to the applicable federal laws.
Venue is proper because, simply put, people are tweeting everywhere, so are the NFL ballers and ESPN shot-callers.
Plaintiffs reside in the US and beyond, their tweets can be seen worldwide.
Defendants have their headquarters in thirty-two cities, including but not limited to NYC and Bristol, CT.
As tweet-counsel and a twitterer myself, I bring this action on behalf of tweeps like @ddocket of AZ Cardinal, @OGOchoCinco of the Bengals, @PTI of ESPN, @AroundTheHorn, just to name a few. Not leaving out the NFL loving fans @heykim @OHBriBri, @HoustonDiva @debdobson @icegrill @artistrikards and hell-raiser: @Lizzs_Lockeroom. FYI these are all potential witness, whose exhibit “As” can be found at http://www.twitter.com/whatever name they have.
DEFENDANTS HAVE BREACH THE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT OF ALL PERSONS INVOLVED
Forget the stupid “playing in the NFL is not a right, it’s a privilege” cliché, tweeting has nothing to do with playing. It is essentially a hobby done on “down-time”, and in twitterverse, this could be anytime you are free, even from the sidelines. The league’s commish, (I will not say his name, I reserve my right to use it in my other lawsuit, i.e: PEOPLE v. Super Bowl to London, et al.) has a twitter account, but I have not seen a tweet from him , for instance, he could have sent a tweet when he met with Mike Vick to exam his level of remorse. LOL.
PRAYER FOR RELIEF
WHEREFORE, Plaintiffs pray for relief as follows:
The Coaches, General Mangers, Commissioner and the Powers That Be at ESPN lift the stupid band censoring of the 140 characters expression of creativity (aka “tweet”) by its employees and players.
And that the court awards reasonable tweet counsel fees and cost and any other relief deemed proper. (Like Fans watching the game at home on Fox with @richeisen and @JamieDukes in the booth)
Dated this 6th day of August, 2009
Sports Blogger, Sports Right Activist and Hell-Raiser