I interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news from a fan’s prospective. I repeat this is not a test, this is reality, these are serious times that require serious measures. So here goes…Andy Reid, please listen up.
We the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles want to relay this message to you. Please do not mess around with the season banking on Kolb. You played around with the game last week, and frankly, we were not amused with you trying to be loyal to Kolb, foregoing your options of Jeff Garcia in the second half.
Why else would you pick up Garcia off waivers, if you have forgotten about how he played well, when he had to fill in for No. 5 a few seasons ago. So today, here is your note to self Andy, use Vick early and go to Garcia if the need arises.
This is football, there is no experiments, no excuses, no wait and sees and certainly no playing with the fans’ emotions.
There comes a time, when I have to heed a certain call and live up to the values they me in Sunday School. So as a sports fan, diehard Eagles fan and human being with just enough values, I have a confession to make.
Picture the scene though – Lincoln Financial Field players lounge at midnight, hell I am not showing my face during daylight, knowing what sin I am guilty of. My crime – being disloyal to McNabb and the Eagles in my fantasy football league. Stay with me as I take you through my confession. I decided to ask for a meet and confer with the great No. 5 himself, after my conscience wrote me a note.
Heck, I have been an Eagles’ fan for so long and have never committed this ungodly sin. But this year I back slided, due the pressure from the old boys’ club a/k/a the boys in my fantasy league. I really had to show the boys that I was not a homer and did not need to pick my favorite quarterback in order to build a strong team. So I went against what was a custom for several years and decided against McNabb in the days leading up to my draft.
For the meet and speak, I went extreme on my fashion get up, I wore saggy pants, a hoodie and dark glasses. I went against what would be my fantasy attire, if I should ever meet the great one McNabb. I aimed to put on a disguise from the public at large and indeed “The Dman,” heck on second thought I needed more that, if I was going to tell the truth.
The moment of truth arrived and there would be no turning back now. McNabb and I toasted each other, he drank Gatorade and I had a stiff one (Grey Goose was my drink of choice). I tried my hardest to beat around the bush, but he insisted on getting to the point. I could feel McNabb’s piercing eyes ripping apart my disguise. I told him I pick Phillip Rivers in my fantasy league, but he only sighed, saying he did not mind because River is from the AFC. I told him I choose Romo as a backup and Haynesworth and the Redskins for defense. He stood up, peeled my disguise and said “Alice is that really you, I can’t believe this.” So I tried to let him down easy, telling it was me and not him. I revealed a few more harsh realities, like how he lost the Superbowl a few years ago and failed to beat down TO when he started his antics in Philly. I reminded him that I was happy for Vick and Garcia.
McNabb laid out some of his inner feelings too, telling me that he has good intentions, that he was not over the hill, and that he would win out the season for the fans. But I told him that I aware of his good intentions, ability to play and the fact that he is hearing footsteps with every mistake. He was overwhelmed by my confessions as he simply thought I was the only supporter he had through thick and thin. “McNabb, this is not personal, just a fair warning that you need to get well and play well for the rest of the season as Jeff Garcia and Mike Vick are looking pretty good to me. We shook hands on it and I mutually agreed that our talk, would be off limits for his mom – god knows, I am afraid that lady.
My fellow divas, I am here to tell you that the state of the female sports fan union is good. I am happy to announce that regardless of the off season drama with players and training camp injuries, we girls did not fail to register our dues in this sports fan union. I am elated to tell you that the regular season kicks off in less than 24-hours. For me, life has been good, I have been busy defending the honor of our estrogen/hormone and responding to sly comments by the male sports fan kind, about our loyalty to this game. I have been blogging and fighting for the right of the fans male or female, but the boys clubs still fail to register any gratitude on their behalf, instead they renew the age old question – as to why girls love sports, especially football. Adding insult to injury, this really charming, intelligent, thoughtful and kind specimen from the boys’ club exercised his “audacity of nope”, when he asked me, if a female sports fan’s loyalty solely rest with the players good looks.
Those were fighting words, that made me want to draw upon my inner soccer fan, but I maintained my posture as a lady/diva and schooled the fool, on how deep my love flows for the old pigskin game. I broke down game film with him, he calls himself a coach these days, getting paid for his knowledge of the game – man, I sure did take him to school (those poor Pop Warner kids).
The state of the union continues to be good females fans, as you are showing up to games in record numbers, running fantasy football leagues, bleeding orange and teal for the Miami Dolphins, green for my Eagles and silver and black for “Da Raiders”.
You are sportscasters, sports agents, sports fans, sports attorneys, front office personnel and pop Warner coaches – yes you are woman. You reveal the knowledge and love for the game on facebook, twitter and myspace. You blog, you scream from your living rooms on Sundays, drink beers, and yes you tailgate – yes you are woman.
You are woman hear you roar, the guys will not leave you out in the cold, no longer will girls wish they were invited to join the office football pool, yes boys, we run the leagues now and even dare you to request an invite. Yes, we have overcome being a football widow.
For the newbie female fan, take courage my sister, we seasoned female fans got you covered. Welcome to the sisterhood and enjoy the benefits of the union. Stand up to the challenge and be counted as a fan. I am here to tell you that the membership comes with perks. Learning the game will earn you brownie points with the boyfriend, the lover, the husband and with your other male friends. As a sports fan you are no longer considered to be the average girl, you build friendships and other bonds with other females from all walks of life.
But before you go strutting your stuff, take a few minutes to learn the new terminologies, which will become a part of your lingo for the next five months and thereafter. Note to self sister fan, there are 32 teams in the NFL, to find out which teams plays in your city, log on to http://www.nfl.com. At the start of every regular season the teams name 53 players to their active rosters, injured players go the injured reserve list and about 4-6 players make it to the practice squad.
The quarterback is the leader of the team and especially on offense, he is the one who passes and throws the ball for a potential score. If he over throws the ball and someone from the defense gets the ball, then that’s called an interception, which can produce a defensive touchdown. The offense is the team with possession of the ball and the defense is the team defending the offensive possession.
The defense is sometimes described as either of four-three or three-four, on a four-three defense, there are four lineman and three linebackers in formation, and the three-four is the reverse of three line men and four linebackers. A first down is the initial down in each series, the offense has four attempts to complete first down or else they have to punt the ball to the other side. A touchdown is worth six points, a point after is just that and the field goal is a three-pointer. A time out is used to regroup the team for strategy and finally a running back lines up behind the quarterback to run a pass, while the wide receiver aka diva is the player who receives the ball down field.
So this season, when you chant from the seats at the stadium, tailgate before the game, wear your team color, just remember we are female sports fans, no matter what our religion, no matter our color, we bleed green, silver, orange, maroon, gold and Steelers’ black and we will not be ignored. Say it with me – the state of this female union is good.
I am no lyricist, I am no Jay-Z and I am not a rapper in any way shape or form. But after reading the NFL issued statement regarding social media and especially twitter, I am about ready to spit a rhyme called “Death of Child Please.” Sadly enough, the NFL lyricists aka Greg Aiello, Roger and them, who penned this twitter hate venom called the Social Media Policy Memo, could do with a few “followfriday” shout outs, as I think they are living in a world of “Jitters.”
In the NFL’s defense, they are certainly in need of some guidelines to regulate players, coaches and team officials from posting tweets that will affect the outcome of the games. We already know about the mandate about the release of score updates during the games. But the NFL has to realize that tweeting players will not hurt anybody, the fans actually love interacting with their favorite players. Heck, we fans have to find some way to have fun outside of paying for these pricey tickets, NFL Sunday Ticket and over priced cable.
The attraction to twitter by the players is one way for them to reach out to their fans, and in another way it helps to promote the NFL brand. I have to say that my favourite twitters have to be Shawn Merriman, the incomparable Chad OchoCinco and Darnell Dockett. Ochocinco especially has been a favorite on twiiter, because of his uncanny way of bringing humor and his little phrases and comments. He coined the phrase “Child Please” and since he did the whole twitterverse has been a buzz, using this phrase in and out of context. That phrase has been so popular it is now the most popular words on twitter – kind of an anthem so to speak.
Unfortunately due to the latest NFL stylings aka Social Media Policy Memo, we will be seeing less of the Child Please tweets from Chad. Henceforth the death oh “Child Please.” I applaud the NFL for the small gesture of allowing twitter 90 minutes before the game and following the press conference, but what if you are not a big time player and you want to tweet after the game about your first touchdown, will the NFL be monitoring that.
Players are not stupid and they do try to follow other rules, so why does the NFL try to treat them like prisoners, if tweeting is not a crime. Child please…someone should tell them to create a twitter account called @OhWell, allowing people like Jerry Jones to celebrate his “me show” in Dallas, Rex Ryan to tell us about why he acts like Hoffia and Matt Milan will revealed his secret for staying employed in Detriots for all those years.
It will be an interested NFL season, as we will now await what these pro-ball twitters will do, I tell you what, I will sure miss Merriman, Dockett and Ochocinco…child please this will be no fun. Chad said that he is going to offer up other ways that he will have fun including, but not limited to hiring a mariachi band. I am no mariachi music lover and might again have to say child please, we need you on twitter.
So as I head out of here sharing with you in a venting manner, I will leave a few words for the NFL. And better yet if I was Jay-Z, I would say it like this: the NFL has 99 problems and twitter isn’t one. Death of the No Fun League, Death of Fan Exploit – two words Child Please!!