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The Death of “Child Please” On Twitter

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I am no lyricist, I am no Jay-Z and I am not a rapper in any way shape or form. But after reading the NFL issued statement regarding social media and especially twitter, I am about ready to spit a rhyme called “Death of Child Please.” Sadly enough, the NFL lyricists aka Greg Aiello, Roger and them, who penned this twitter hate venom called the Social Media Policy Memo, could do with a few “followfriday” shout outs, as I think they are living in a world of “Jitters.”
In the NFL’s defense, they are certainly in need of some guidelines to regulate players, coaches and team officials from posting tweets that will affect the outcome of the games. We already know about the mandate about the release of score updates during the games. But the NFL has to realize that tweeting players will not hurt anybody, the fans actually love interacting with their favorite players. Heck, we fans have to find some way to have fun outside of paying for these pricey tickets, NFL Sunday Ticket and over priced cable.
The attraction to twitter by the players is one way for them to reach out to their fans, and in another way it helps to promote the NFL brand. I have to say that my favourite twitters have to be Shawn Merriman, the incomparable Chad OchoCinco and Darnell Dockett. Ochocinco especially has been a favorite on twiiter, because of his uncanny way of bringing humor and his little phrases and comments. He coined the phrase “Child Please” and since he did the whole twitterverse has been a buzz, using this phrase in and out of context. That phrase has been so popular it is now the most popular words on twitter – kind of an anthem so to speak.
Unfortunately due to the latest NFL stylings aka Social Media Policy Memo, we will be seeing less of the Child Please tweets from Chad. Henceforth the death oh “Child Please.” I applaud the NFL for the small gesture of allowing twitter 90 minutes before the game and following the press conference, but what if you are not a big time player and you want to tweet after the game about your first touchdown, will the NFL be monitoring that.
Players are not stupid and they do try to follow other rules, so why does the NFL try to treat them like prisoners, if tweeting is not a crime. Child please…someone should tell them to create a twitter account called @OhWell, allowing people like Jerry Jones to celebrate his “me show” in Dallas, Rex Ryan to tell us about why he acts like Hoffia and Matt Milan will revealed his secret for staying employed in Detriots for all those years.
It will be an interested NFL season, as we will now await what these pro-ball twitters will do, I tell you what, I will sure miss Merriman, Dockett and Ochocinco…child please this will be no fun. Chad said that he is going to offer up other ways that he will have fun including, but not limited to hiring a mariachi band. I am no mariachi music lover and might again have to say child please, we need you on twitter.
So as I head out of here sharing with you in a venting manner, I will leave a few words for the NFL. And better yet if I was Jay-Z, I would say it like this: the NFL has 99 problems and twitter isn’t one. Death of the No Fun League, Death of Fan Exploit – two words Child Please!!

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  1. Suzi
    September 5, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    Oh great! At age 58, I FINALLY decide to embrace my deceased Dad’s favorite sport, football (he was also a referee & I still have his official whistle from the late 40’s) and I read this?#!?#! As I’m learning the football “ropes”, choosing his hometown town to cheer, The Philly Eagles, now this? Everything I’m learning is at Twitter, I was following the players, reading journalists, fans, etc. I fully admit I don’t have the knowledge to NFL’s 99 problems but Twitter? Is this a play called diversion?
    I polished my Dad’s whistle, “The Acme Thunderer” and I refuse to take it out of my mouth until someone in the “ivory castle” waves the “safe” flag!

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